Trusting the Process

One of the bonuses of getting older is the ability to laugh at yourself.

And not simply in a self-deprecating way (which I often do)... but on a deeper level.

When you observe your behaviors, you begin to recognize patterns. It's incredibly powerful, and in reference to the above, it can also be a little amusing.

At this stage in my life, I have far more evidence of things working out than not, but I still tend to get myself bunched up. I borrow trouble and start worrying about things that haven't even happened.

Oh, to be human. 😉

And here's the kicker... I share this Dalai Lama quote with friends all the time:

Can you see the silliness of this all?

Here's why this is up for me this week:

As I'm preparing to move back to Northern California from Costa Rica, I've got a few things to take care of. Nothing major (she says now, after having borrowed trouble for nothing), outside of selling my car (the culprit of said borrowed trouble).

All I'm bringing back are clothes, some personal stuff, my computers, and the dogs. I'm bringing back fewer clothes than I brought here (I've already left some stuff on previous trips and will donate anything I brought and haven't worn), so really - it's not that much.

I even have a friend coming to visit in a couple of days who has offered to take some things back with her.

I've already sold a bunch of things, and what I don't sell, I'll just give away (I refuse to haggle over $10 items).

This will probably be the easiest move I've made.

When I came back to Costa Rica after the holidays it didn't take long to sell some of the bigger items (with very little effort, just told a few people).

One person came to look at the car, left it open-ended, and I started to stress.

So much so that I extended my stay here by two weeks to ensure the car was sold and the paperwork was done.

Naturally, once I relaxed about selling the car and made plans to stay longer, I hear back from the guy last week, and another person is interested (and no, I'm not changing my plans again. I think maybe my desire to stay a little longer was stronger than the desire to sell the car immediately).

Here's the thing...

THIS is my process. 👆

Even though I have far more evidence that everything works out for me (and often better than I was hoping) - I still go through this song and dance of worry.

In this specific situation, I now get two extra weeks in beautiful locations to soak up a little more of Costa Rica (the weather is gorgeous right now... meanwhile, California is hit with horrendous storms).

My therapist has been talking to me for years about processes -I think I'm starting to "get it."

I often see my behaviors as "good or bad" (bad might be a little strong, but you get the idea). If a behavior is bad, then it's something I need to work on to change.

If it's good, then yay me! Gold star! ⭐ #sarcasm

I'm learning that when I remove judgment, stop labeling my behavior as something I need to fix (or reward), and observe it; it's a whole lot easier to be kind to myself and find ease in a situation.

And, of course, as soon as I choose to "be easy about it" - things start flowing.

The entire idea of learning what our processes are fascinates me.

Some processes end, new ones appear, and some may last a lifetime.

It's really not about the process itself as much as it is about what we do with it and how we treat ourselves.

Learning this has truly been a gift... especially when I remember to put it into practice. 😉