Grace is Underrated

The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur (and how the bucket are we almost in March already?), but things are starting to feel a little settled and I’m starting to catch up on some much-needed rest (10 hours of sleep last night? Thank you, more please).

As I’ve gotten older and learned to tap into that place inside me that is quiet, I’m able to pause for a moment and observe what’s going on - both in my head and around me.

But even with this shift within me, when I’ve been away from my day-to-day life for a bit (the last few weeks) there’s still that part of me that feels like “C’mon! You’ve got work to do!”

In other words, hurry up and rest. 🤣

As I was thinking about that this week an idea came to me…

What if we could slow down and get there faster?

I know that sounds contrary. As in, “doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” But hear me out…

The “getting there faster” is the byproduct of slowing down. It’s not the goal, it’s more of a bonus.

When I take care of myself, regardless of whether it’s a want or a need - when I get back to ‘business as usual’ things flow.

When I force myself to do things (which is completely different from doing the work, even when you’re not in the mood) I end up frustrated and in more need of rest.

This can turn into a vicious cycle.

I remember listening to a Zig Ziglar tape years ago and he told a story (paraphrasing here) about a man who felt guilty when he was at work because he really felt like he should be spending more time with his family… when he was with his family he felt stressed because he thought should be working more (to take care of his family).

To which Zig said, in his best southern drawl, “No wonder you’re always tired and never get anything done, you’re always traveling.”

In other words, he was never present.

There are plenty of times when I simply don’t feel like doing something, which is part of being human. Most of the time I get it done and then other times I get it done when it really has to get done.

In other words, there will be less-than-pleasant consequences if I don’t get it done.

The beauty is that I’ve learned not to beat myself up - even when I’ve procrastinated and wasn’t in the mood.

Everything always gets done.

This, my friends, is grace.

And we all need more of it.

Grace wasn’t something I associated with myself…ever.

I thought of grace as this ethereal way some women have of moving through the world (graceful).

Grace was quiet elegance.

There are a handful of definitions of grace (both as a noun and a verb), but here are the two that have the most meaning for me:

Noun:

• a disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

• the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful

Here’s the kicker…

We can apply both of these to ourselves.

The best part? It can look however you need it to look for YOU.

An instance of kindness or courtesy to yourself might mean…

• Not setting an alarm in the morning (clearly rest is on my mind)

• Saying no

• Taking a nap

• Turning down an invitation

• Asking a friend to come to you

• Reaching out when you need support (which can feel hard, but it’s such a gift)

Being considerate or thoughtful towards yourself could be…

• Allowing yourself space - before you need it (i.e., don’t overschedule/overcommit yourself)

• Not asking for opinions (crowdsourcing opinions can cause more harm than good)

• Not judging yourself

• Scheduling in time with people who feed your soul (you all know who you are, and I thank you ❤)

• Making sure to do more of what brings you joy, whenever you can

• Not explaining yourself

Grace can be found in the smallest of moments.

Maybe it’s taking a minute to engage with the barista when you order your coffee… or stopping to pet a dog. Being present is the epitome of grace.

Now I think of grace as a gift.

And in some ways, a practice.

Practice gifting yourself more grace.